Tuesday, April 24, 2007

Im in so much pain

Last week I got sick, I felt so bad inside and out. My whole body hurt so bad and there was nothing I could do but be still and even than I was still in pain. It only got worst, I threw up more than four times at 1am and didn't stop till 3am. I am so tried to day. I didn't want to work because I was sick, but I went back to work, (still sick) my manger was so mean to me by saying "I think I can come in here and work whenever I felt like it". That's not true, when I sick I'm sick. I'm not trying to skip work or school. I felt so bad when she sad that, I wanted to cry(when I am sick I get so emotional). I been out from school and I know when I go back I will have a lot of homework. It sucks but I do need time off, just like my doctor told me. I have not been able to spend time with God without being sleepy. My doctor tells me I'll be in this pain for at least 1 days. Feel like it will last longer.

Monday, April 16, 2007

PEOPLE I LOOK UP TO

I live in a world where there is very few people to look up to. Someone who is positive role model. I don't want to look up to people who loves this world more than God. People who have more love for this world are enemies of God (James 4:4). I admire people who put God first, love Him more than themselves, keep seeking His face, and have wisdom. I can learn from theses people.


I admire Da'Truth a christian rapper out there for God. He seem like a good man of God. I seen a video of him talking about his wife and I was amazed, in today's world very few men talk about their wife with love. I admire him for that. I pray that all men will respect their wife's and love them.

I admire Cece Winans, she has a family, a Christian singer, someone you can tell love God. She is out there trying to reach younger women about God. Showing us young ladies who we are to God. I love that about her. I remember seeing her at the Always Sisters Conference and I love the way she talks about her family. Anyone can tell she love her family. I look up to her as a woman of God doing God's will. I love the way she presents her self, dressing modest. I just love her!!!

I admire Nancy Leigh DeMoss, she is truly a great woman of God. I have been listening to her on podcast and I just love the series that she does. I have learn so much. I think I am ready to deal with things that might come my way because of her series on the Bible. I love when she does her series on being modest and Proverbs 31 women. Last week I was listening to her speak on "Walking through Life Deserts". I love that series because when I am in a situation that seem to hard, I know what to do. I love this woman.

I admire two very young ladies I have come to know and they are Chaka and Eva. I love these two ladies. I like that they are representing God in their lives. Seeking his face.

MY DREAM

In my church yesterday we were talking about our dreams as Christians. I thought about my dream and I pray that it comes true. I want to become a social worker that help kids. I really love children, they are full of life. I love it when you ask a child a question they will tell you the truth, instead of lying like us grown ups. I know first hand that life as a child is not easy. When I went to school I was scared and felt like no one cared about me. I later on in life find out that people do care about me and most importantly I am loved by Christ Jesus. But, anyway I want to show children the LOVE of GOD and show them that he cares for them. To tell them that God made them very special.

I pray to God that he will send me a godly husband with the characterises God want in his men. I want to fall in love with this men heart first. I pray to God over years He will make me into a praying, pure, holy, women of God. I pray that I will become the Proverbs 31 women with Christ help. As a little girl I always wanted to adopted children and grow them in a Christian home. I never grew up in a Christian home. But, if I have children I would want them too. I hope to adopted at least 5 children and live in a home that me and my husband bought. I pray that God's will be done.

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Journal Entry # 12 - Frustrated

Abba I feel hopeless, weak and frustrated. I ask that you would help me. Take me and free up my mind of things that are not of You. Direct ...