Journal Entry #21 My fear...


Abba, I have seen abuse and just thinking about it scares me. I don't want to ever be in an abusive relationship. I honestly want to be blessed with a man of God, You have for me that will not hit me. I pray to be with someone who loves me as Christ loves the church...            
12/11/2010

I fear to be in an abusive relationship. I have noticed that whenever I hear someone raise their voice at me, my heart starts beating fast and I get nervous. I find myself hiding and running from confrontation. I wish I were never around abuse because it has shaped my view of men. As I continue to seek the Lord, he is changing my view of men. I have an understanding of how men and godly men should treat women. Some days are better than others, but I am trusting God with this fear.




What has happened in your past that has shaped your world view?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Godly Women From the Past (Gladys Aylward Part 2)

Image
Quotes from Gladys Aylward
"I wasn't God's first choice for what I've done for China…I don't know who it was…It must have been a man…a well-educated man. I don't know what happened. Perhaps he died. Perhaps he wasn't willing…and God looked down…and saw Gladys Aylward…And God said - "Well, she's willing."
“If God has called you to China or any other place and you are sure in your own heart, let nothing deter you….Remember, it is God who has called you and it is the same as when He
called Moses or Samuel.”

"My heart is full of praise that one so insignificant, uneducated, and ordinary in every way could be used to His glory for the blessing of His people in poor persecuted China."
Read more

Journal Entry #14 - Free me up, from the Fear of Rejection

Image
Abba I pray for peace in my heart and mind. I no longer want to believe in the lies that I am worthless, ugly, and slow. I need (want) you to remind me of who I am in you. When I look at my past, I see a girl that has been hurt. A girl that was lonely and invisible. Show me Your love for me. Show me that I belong to you
 3.10.2010

The pain from being rejected still haunts me. My mind is filled with memories of being rejected. There were many times I was called ugly, monkey, slow, made fun of because of my weight and height, I notice that sometimes I would isolate myself from others because I was afraid of being rejected by my peers. What others thought of me, consumed me. I placed more value on what others have said and thought about me than what God says about me, as his child. The Lord has shown me His love and every day I am learning to lay down the fear of rejection.

Scriptures:
1 Peter 2:99 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession,…
Read more

Malawi Mission Trip 2016

Image
Its been two weeks since I have been back in America after being in Africa. I was able to go on a mission trip to Malawi. Since being back, I am still speechless. I can't find the words to explain my experience of being in Africa. The land is beautiful. The people are beautiful. The food is amazing. Some of the things I can take away from being in Malawi:

1) To be grateful. There were days that we went without running water (could not take showers). I thought to myself that the Malawi people go through this all the time and I still see them praising God. 2) To Pray, Worship and Rejoice always. I need to make up my mind daily to not let the world fill me up. I saw people walking for hours to get to church and while in church service praising God. I need to daily sit at the Lords feet and be with Him praying.  3) I can live without social media. During the trip we did not have much internet and we were okay. Since being home, I have found myself sitting in silence and meditating on …
Read more